How to fight against Demonic Teapots?

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Keep calm… and don’t let it whistle at you.

Always carry a ladle — it’s basically a sword in disguise.

Act like a teapot if you must, but add jazz hands for flair.

Remember: it can’t handle caffeine. Stock up on espresso.

And most importantly… never underestimate the power of a well-timed tea spout. 🍵👹

How to Fight a Demonic Teapot: A Comprehensive, Totally Necessary Guide

Step 1: Stay Calm — Easier said than done when your kitchenware starts haunting you with pure, unbridled malice. Deep breaths. Count to ten.

Step 2: Arm Yourself — Ladles, wooden spoons, frying pans, even rolling pins. Anything that could double as a weapon against a teapot that apparently has a grudge against humanity. Bonus points if you have an apron emblazoned with “Tea Slayer.”

Step 3: Understand the Enemy — Demonic teapots are sneaky. They whistle when you least expect it, and they may try to force you to perform impromptu teapot impressions. Don’t. Resist. Jazz hands are optional but highly recommended.

Step 4: Caffeine Advantage — A demonic teapot cannot handle the sheer power of espresso or black tea brewed to perfection. Arm your mug, sip strategically, and let the caffeine aura weaken its demonic energy.

Step 5: Psychological Warfare — Teapots are sensitive. Insult its favorite tea blend, claim that its whistle is “so last century,” or challenge it to a tea-themed dance-off. Confusion is your ally.

Step 6: Cover Your Assets — A well-placed tea cup can act as a shield, a distraction, or both. Bonus: it makes you look fashionable while saving your life.

Step 7: Teamwork — Never fight a demonic teapot alone. Assemble friends, pets, baby, and anyone willing to act like they understand the threat level. United, you can make it retreat — or at least negotiate a truce over chamomile.

Step 8: Remember: Humor is Survival — Laughing in the face of tea-based evil is half the battle. The other half? Keep an emergency stash of biscuits. Bribe the teapot. Trust me.

Congratulations! You are now mostly prepared to survive a demonic teapot encounter. Good luck, and may your kettles always remain innocent. 🍵👹